You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
