he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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