Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
