You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
