1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
