At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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