Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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