Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
