I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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