Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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