You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
