does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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