..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
