i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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