it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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