I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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