so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
