the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
