I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
