come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
