Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
