i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
