I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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