He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
