that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
