she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
