what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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