haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize