Well douche your snatch and let's go!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
