I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
