I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
