Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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