the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
