Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
