I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
