my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
