What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
