Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
