My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
