All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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