Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
