i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Panties = found
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
