Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
