dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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