u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it glows. i had to have it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
