I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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