no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
