? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
