Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
