And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
