my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
did i just pee glitter
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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