At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
